Ayana

The latest addition to my brood was born this past July.
All went well and I had an exceptional birthing partner <3
I can't believe she's almost four months old!
Life has been so busy but I have still found time to enjoy her-what a wonderful and pleasant surprise she was and we are all very blessed to have her in our lives.

1st of January 2010

I found myself hanging out the new bairn hours of this decade at a club for the first time ever.
On the subject of being there:
*Really not my thing, I realize I am way too critical.
*My partner paid me the highest complement of "I really, really like you and I HATE everything!"
*Always compliment the transvestites on their efforts-really, how long did it take them to figure out their getup?!
*Never ask the really high person you are chatting with how much E they've taken-it really offends them!
*Always have cab fare on your person, life is quite unpredictable.
*That thick oppressing feeling and weird smell is DESPERATION!

on separation and expected modicum

During the next few weeks or months, depending on how often you frequent this neglected blog, you will hear or read about the major changes in our family structure.
Please know that despite these changes we are still a family who will greatly appreciate your support, prayers, and love. I hope you all understand how difficult this is for all of us and that I personally don't expect and would frankly be insulted if you took sides.
Last year, I was weak and lacked the courage to recognize the end of our marriage and made the horrible mistake of accepting the attention of another. I broke many of my close family's and friends' trust and I apologize for my selfish episodes.
Out of the chaos, we've tried to make things work and attend counseling and have remained a great parenting team despite our shortcomings.
Separation is what I have decided will be best for my well being in all facets of my life.
I welcome your love and hope that you can keep your opinions to a minimum. This is one of the hardest things I have had to decide for myself and Scott and our boys.
Please keep us in your prayers.
Thank you for your time.

There is no Dora Fight Club!

Thank the (Dyl) pickle for making me look like a battered wife.
Dylan has moved up in his Toddler Fight Club and has begun trying to recruit mom like all his little friends.
It was quite painful to get headbutted on my cheekbone/eyesocket while on the phone-I actually put it down held in my bad words and sent him away.
Yeah, I love my 2 yr. old, too!
In addition to my facial bruise I also have a nice welt on my left side near my rib cage from his stepping on me while trying to take a nap.
Dylan is relentless in his quest; I hope I can make it to the end of this week without succumbing to his forceful charms.

R.I.P. Grace

Yesterday, I had the most alarming experience while checking out of the supermarket.
I've never had to confront anyone for almost running me over with their cart but yesterday I lost my innocence forever.
It was almost 5 PM when I made my way to the packed registers with my basket full of food; I had some trouble figuring out the exact number of items in my basket, so I picked the shortest line in the express lanes. Suddenly I was showered with "craps" and alternating "S***s" from the lady behind me who had been in between checkout lanes when I chose mine. I was a bit shocked by her language-we were after all in a supermarket full of old people and children of all sizes and in my head I decided that if she shut her mouth I would usurp my place and let her go ahead.
The cursing continued, so I put my 12 items on the belt and took a step forward to scan my card when out of the corner of my eye I saw her push her cart full force in my direction and quickly snap it back just an inch from my leg- that was the last moment I'd put up with her, I turned back and told her calm but loud, "What?! You want to hit me?" and something along the lines of sorry, my extra three items are making her react in such a manner.
She looked at me with a smug smirk and forcefully placed her four chocolate bunnies on the belt never once apologizing for being such a baby despite her lifeless gray bob, glasses and wrinkles.
I resumed my checkout ritual and guiltlessly spent extra seconds asking the cashier where to change my $20 for quarters as she continued to almost soil herself in rage.
As I exited towards the Customer Service desk I heard her whining in a high pitch how "it just isn't fair!"

I admit I was weak for even reacting towards her and her violent intention of trying to ram me with her cart but "it just isn't fair" for a multitude of people to experience her ugly gestures and foul mouth. Whatever happened to remaining calm and collected or just restraining your anger and taking a deep breath or counting to 10 before reacting?

Despite the rampant cart rage that will continue to put everyone at risk of serious injuries, I will try my best to smile every time I set foot in a store or other public place no matter how chaotic the controlled artificial environment becomes because you or anyone else don't owe me or my temper a thing despite your slow pace or mistakes while choosing cans of soup or tomatoes.

And don't roll your eyes at me or impart your disdain when my kids are being loud and goofy within the confines of their cart, I can't stand their shrieks either but I'm not going to complain or even correct you as you run your mouth at the store like some drunken sailor ready to mount the next tart in a skirt!

If you can't stand crowds and long lines schedule your future outings between the wee hours of 1AM-4AM. Remember, assaulting fellow human beings is still frowned upon and my children will avenge me for my death at your hands.

So long, and thanks for all the fish. (Jerry's Obituary)*

6th of February 2007

Jerry (Candy) Lastnamewithheld, a member of the small, rare, and extremely odd Lastnamewithheld clan, died after a few excruciating days from unknown but believed natural causes.

Jerry was 1 yr. 11 m. 25 days our amusing pet-his actual lifespan may have been 4-6 yrs(a fish never reveals his vitals to mammals!).

In our absence, our friend, Marlene always took care of him. They probably had serious discussions about life, its meaning, and politics.
Jerry had a secret life as an explorer in the great unknown green habitat that was Sebastian's room. He also had some incompatible tank mates that he managed to kill off with his bad hygiene.

He has now joined the big murky waters of some sewage system after a brief toilet ceremony held on Tuesday evening.
The wake and burial services had a small attendance due to Superbowl Sunday commercials, Heroes on Monday night, and the Sabre's stroke-inducing game on Tuesday.

Jerry we will somewhat miss you and your speckled orange and pearlescent white scales.

Donations for another pet can be made out to Dora and her alone-No Pennies Please.


*first published on myspace

Dylan Part Deux * (29th of Jan 2007)

Now all or the very few that read this will start wondering what type of parent I am.
Yesterday my fearless child took a dive from his supervised highchair and knocked the right side of his head on the corner of the table. I caught him in midair and instinctively checked the old wound (ok, that's fine. Why's he screaming?).
"Great (internal*bleep*), he has a gash right below his right eyebrow and just outside his eye"
Luckily I was at my mother-in-law's and it wasn't his actual eye!
Wash,

Dry,

Apply Pressure,

REPEAT!
It just wasn't my month this year.
The wound wasn't coming together this time and I was frazzled that this was definitely going to be a drive to get to Syracuse considering the country roads my inlaws live near are well coated in snow and a poor helping of a salt deficient sand mix.
I managed to control the bleeding, again, and my mother-in-law had a well stocked first aid kit including those illusive butterfly strips.
Dylan was fine except for the gash and I was deeply moved when he took the tissue from me and blotted his face as we made our way to the hospital.
The wound finally sealed itself in time for the doctor to mess with it and cause it to ooze again. (I really hate that part)
I'm grateful that he did not require stitches but it was nerve racking to hold him down as the doctor applied the Dermabond.
The day ended with 3 out of the four in our family extremely exhausted-Sebastian had a blast: he attended a birthday party, had cake, went out with his grandparents for dinner and even had time to make a get well card for his brother.
All in all, I'm relieved Dylan is well and lively today.


Anyone travelling to Canada interested in bringing me back some cheap Dermabond?


*Previously posted on myspace