Thursday, April 5, 2007

R.I.P. Grace

Yesterday, I had the most alarming experience while checking out of the supermarket.
I've never had to confront anyone for almost running me over with their cart but yesterday I lost my innocence forever.
It was almost 5 PM when I made my way to the packed registers with my basket full of food; I had some trouble figuring out the exact number of items in my basket, so I picked the shortest line in the express lanes. Suddenly I was showered with "craps" and alternating "S***s" from the lady behind me who had been in between checkout lanes when I chose mine. I was a bit shocked by her language-we were after all in a supermarket full of old people and children of all sizes and in my head I decided that if she shut her mouth I would usurp my place and let her go ahead.
The cursing continued, so I put my 12 items on the belt and took a step forward to scan my card when out of the corner of my eye I saw her push her cart full force in my direction and quickly snap it back just an inch from my leg- that was the last moment I'd put up with her, I turned back and told her calm but loud, "What?! You want to hit me?" and something along the lines of sorry, my extra three items are making her react in such a manner.
She looked at me with a smug smirk and forcefully placed her four chocolate bunnies on the belt never once apologizing for being such a baby despite her lifeless gray bob, glasses and wrinkles.
I resumed my checkout ritual and guiltlessly spent extra seconds asking the cashier where to change my $20 for quarters as she continued to almost soil herself in rage.
As I exited towards the Customer Service desk I heard her whining in a high pitch how "it just isn't fair!"

I admit I was weak for even reacting towards her and her violent intention of trying to ram me with her cart but "it just isn't fair" for a multitude of people to experience her ugly gestures and foul mouth. Whatever happened to remaining calm and collected or just restraining your anger and taking a deep breath or counting to 10 before reacting?

Despite the rampant cart rage that will continue to put everyone at risk of serious injuries, I will try my best to smile every time I set foot in a store or other public place no matter how chaotic the controlled artificial environment becomes because you or anyone else don't owe me or my temper a thing despite your slow pace or mistakes while choosing cans of soup or tomatoes.

And don't roll your eyes at me or impart your disdain when my kids are being loud and goofy within the confines of their cart, I can't stand their shrieks either but I'm not going to complain or even correct you as you run your mouth at the store like some drunken sailor ready to mount the next tart in a skirt!

If you can't stand crowds and long lines schedule your future outings between the wee hours of 1AM-4AM. Remember, assaulting fellow human beings is still frowned upon and my children will avenge me for my death at your hands.